‘Ssshhh gets real’ on Project : Library web series

I mentioned a couple of weeks ago that I had presented a conference program on reel librarians — and one of the best things about the program were the titles and suggestions audience members have sent my way since. One suggestion — and one new to me! — I recently watched was a 2013 British web series called “Project : Library,” a four-part action/comedy web series.

The plot is pretty simple:  Battersham Library is set to close in 3 weeks and is in serious need of funds. During inventory, two library workers realize there’s a book that’s been checked out since 1989, and the boy who checked it out, Michael Foster, is now 25… and owes the library 1 million pounds!

As the web series tagline says:  “Ssshhh get real” — and FAST.

The manager of Battersham Library, Troy Bennet, is a blowhard who throws his own grandson out of the library and cares more about money than about books. And in a cast of Brits, he stands out by having an American accent. (OF COURSE.) This character, hilariously described to me as an “evil librarian mafioso,” chomps every bit of scenery he can while spouting lines like “I’m gonna send the boys ’round.”

There are 4 episodes total, with each episode running 10-20 minutes apiece. As shown in the trailer, the series does get progressively and over-the-top violent, featuring bullets and blood. Also, more than one book sacrificed itself to the making of this web series. (R.I.P. books, R.I.P.)

But above all, this series is HILARIOUS, and I highly recommend taking an hour out of your day to watch through the episodes. It is very well directed and acted, with high production values. The series was co-created by TimH and Mike Cannon, and TimH is also credited as one of the writers, directors, and stars of the series.

Morals of the story?

  • Properly fund your libraries.
  • Return your books on time.
  • And get some wi-fi in your libraries.

Below are the “Project : Library” episodes, as well as my favorite quotes from each episode. Enjoy!


Episode 1: OVERDUE

Favorite quote:

If this library closes, then that’s my sex life out the window.


Episode 2: DINOSAUR

Favorite quote:

I’m not a cop. I’m a librarian.


Episode 3: COLLATERAL

Favorite quotes:

Michael’s friend Jason:  You don’t know who’s working for the library. It could be anyone!
Michael:  You saying ANYONE could be a librarian?
Jason:  Maybe. For all you know, I could be a librarian.


Episode 4: THE FINAL CHAPTER

Favorite quotes:

Jason:  Sticks and stones may break my bones…
Michael:  …but words will never hurt me.
Jason:  [using a thick dictionary to knock a guy out] Bull. Shit.

Welcome to MY library. Your visit here is OVERDUE.

Nobody does romance like librarians. I’m serious. We’re famous for it. Librarians are S-E-X-Y. Don’t laugh. We’ve written the book about it. Well, at least date-stamped it.


Can’t get enough of “Project : Library”? Then check out the Tumblr site for the project, http://projectlibrary.tumblr.com/, which includes behind-the-scenes info about the series and archives of posts and photos. And last but not least, an outtakes video!

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