The Quotable Librarian

It felt time for another installment of “The Quotable Librarian” (click here for a previous Quotable post), but this round, the following are quotations describing or referring to reel librarians, plus one librarian’s AWESOME comeback. Enjoy!

Forbidden (1932)

Barbara Stanwyck in Forbidden

Old lady four-eyes!

~ Young boys making fun and taunting Lulu Smith (Barbara Stanwyck), the local public librarian

You’re a Big Boy Now (1966)

Rip Torn in 'You're a Big Boy Now'

Rip Torn in 'You're a Big Boy Now'

I’ll thank you to keep your incunabulum to yourself.”

~ Miss Thing (Julie Harris) freaking out at I.H. Chanticleer (Rip Torn), an archives librarian, when they get locked in the archives vault

UHF (1985)

Conan the Librarian in 'UHF'

Conan the Librarian in 'UHF'

Never before in the history of motion pictures has there been a screen presence so commanding, so powerful, so deadly. He’s… Conan the Librarian!

~ TV ad for UHF series “Conan the Librarian”

That Touch of Mink (1962)

'That Touch of Mink' screenshot

The librarian and her would-be lover in 'That Touch of Mink'

You librarians live it up pretty good!

~ Mr. Smith (John Fiedler) in a funny hotel scene with librarian Barbara Collentine

Foul Play (1978)

Goldie Hawn in 'Foul Play'

Goldie Hawn in 'Foul Play'

Ever since the divorce, you lock yourself in that library and hide behind those glasses. Look at you! You used to be a cheerleader! You used to show some cleavage! Let’s see some skin, shake your booty, take some chances. What are you playing, old maid?

~ A friend gives a pep talk (!) to Gloria Mundy (Goldie Hawn), a librarian at the San Francisco Public Library

Party Girl (1995)

Parker Posey in 'Party Girl'

I may have made a mistake, but that is no reason to patronize me. It is dismaying that your expectations are based on the performance of a lesser primate, and also revelatory of a managerial style that is sadly lacking. Is it any wonder then, that I have chosen not to learn the intricacies of an antiquated and idiotic system? I think not!

~ Mary (Parker Posey) reacts to the Dewey Decimal system and “Re-code it!” instructions from godmother Judy (Sasha von Scherler), a librarian at the New York Public Library

The Librarian: Quest for the Spear (TV, 2004)

'The Librarian: Quest for the Spear' screenshot

Mom, you're embarrassing me

Margie Carsen [speaking to a group of ladies]: “Flynn is a librarian now. But he’s capable of so much more. Just needs the right woman to push him.”
Flynn Carsen: “Mom, you don’t understand. Being a librarian is actually a pretty cool job.”

~ Flynn’s mom (Olympia Dukakis) describing her son (Noah Wyle), a special archives librarian/adventurer/Indiana Jones admirer


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