It felt time for another installment of “The Quotable Librarian” (click here for a previous Quotable post), but this round, the following are quotations describing or referring to reel librarians, plus one librarian’s AWESOME comeback. Enjoy!
Forbidden (1932):
“Old lady four-eyes!“
Young boys making fun and taunting Lulu Smith (Barbara Stanwyck), the local public librarian
You’re a Big Boy Now (1966):
“I’ll thank you to keep your incunabulum to yourself.”
Miss Thing (Julie Harris) freaking out at I.H. Chanticleer (Rip Torn), an archives librarian, when they get locked in the archives vault
UHF (1985):
“Never before in the history of motion pictures has there been a screen presence so commanding, so powerful, so deadly. He’s… Conan the Librarian!“
TV ad for UHF series “Conan the Librarian”
That Touch of Mink (1962):
“You librarians live it up pretty good!“
Mr. Smith (John Fiedler) in a funny hotel scene with librarian Barbara Collentine
Foul Play (1978):
“Ever since the divorce, you lock yourself in that library and hide behind those glasses. Look at you! You used to be a cheerleader! You used to show some cleavage! Let’s see some skin, shake your booty, take some chances. What are you playing, old maid?“
A friend gives a pep talk (!) to Gloria Mundy (Goldie Hawn), a librarian at the San Francisco Public Library
Party Girl (1995):
“I may have made a mistake, but that is no reason to patronize me. It is dismaying that your expectations are based on the performance of a lesser primate, and also revelatory of a managerial style that is sadly lacking. Is it any wonder then, that I have chosen not to learn the intricacies of an antiquated and idiotic system? I think not!“
Mary (Parker Posey) reacts to the Dewey Decimal system and “Re-code it!” instructions from godmother Judy (Sasha von Scherler), a librarian at the New York Public Library
The Librarian: Quest for the Spear (TV, 2004):
Margie Carsen [speaking to a group of ladies]: “Flynn is a librarian now. But he’s capable of so much more. Just needs the right woman to push him.”
Flynn Carsen: “Mom, you don’t understand. Being a librarian is actually a pretty cool job.”
Flynn’s mom (Olympia Dukakis) describing her son (Noah Wyle), a special archives librarian/adventurer/Indiana Jones admirer
Sources used:
- Forbidden. Dir. Frank Capra. Perf. Barbara Stanwyck, Adolphe Menjou, Ralph Bellamy. Columbia, 1932.
- Foul Play. Dir. Colin Higgins. Perf. Goldie Hawn, Chevy Chase, Burgess Meredith, Dudley Moore. Paramount, 1978.
- The Librarian: Quest for the Spear (TV movie). Dir. Peter Winther. Perf. Noah Wyle, Sonya Walger, Bob Newhart, Kyle MacLachlan, Kelly Hu. TNT, 2004.
- Party Girl. Dir. Daisy von Scherler Mayer. Perf. Parker Posey, Sasha von Scherler, Guillermo Diaz, Liev Schreiber. First Look, 1995.
- That Touch of Mink. Dir. Delbert Mann. Perf. Cary Grant, Doris Day, Gig Young, Audrey Meadows. Universal-International, 1962.
- UHF. Dir. Jay Levey. Perf. Weird Al Yankovic, Victoria Jackson, Kevin McCarthy, Michael Richards. Orion, 1989.
- You’re a Big Boy Now. Dir. Francis Ford Coppola. Perf. Peter Kastner, Elizabeth Hartman, Geraldine Page, Rip Torn, Julie Harris, Karen Black. Seven Arts, 1966.