Category Archives: School librarian

Debbie does a play

During my research of librarian films, I have come across two erotic films, Debbie Does Dallas (1978) and Alice in Wonderland: An X-Rated Musical Comedy (1976) that reportedly include librarian characters. I haven’t seen either film yet, and I don’t intend to include straight-to-video adult films that include librarians on this site — that’s a whole other subset of Naughty Librarians that I won’t get into. But these two films were both highly successful at the time and considered classics of their kind, produced during the so-called “Golden Age of Porn” where adult films became more mainstream. Just telling it as it is, folks.

The plot of Debbie Does Dallas is quite simple:  a group of cheerleaders try to earn enough money to send Debbie to try out for the “Texas Cowgirls” squad (obviously a riff off the Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders). How do they earn that money? There’s a reason it’s called the oldest profession in the world, of course. ;)

As I detailed in a earlier post about how I find new titles to watch, I routinely check my Master List against various sources. And imagine my surprise when I found a copy of Debbie Does Dallas in my local community college consortium — not the film, alas, but the play! I had no idea that the film had been adapted for the stage, but indeed, Debbie Does Dallas: The Musical was created in 2001 by Susan L. Schwartz for the New York International Fringe Festival. It was adapted by Erica Schmidt, with original musical numbers by Andrew Sherman.

And indeed, there is a librarian in the play, a Mr. Biddle. Here’s how he’s described in the script notes:

Mr. Biddle works at the high-school library. He is repressed and reserved. Biddle is of a forgotten generation in his principles and etiquette. (He is a male character in a porno and he does not want sex.) He is smart, rash, quick to anger and passionate about poetry.

From that description, I immediately thought Anti-Social Male Librarian, the male equivalent of the Spinster Librarian. This type of reel librarian tends to hoard knowledge, exhibits poor social skills, dislikes people, and focuses on rules. Makes sense, right?

Mr. Biddle is definitely a minor character, turning up in only a few scenes. In Scene 8, “Girls Get Jobs,” the poet cheerleader Donna asks if she can work at the library. He is reluctant, but is convinced by Donna’s scintillating argument:  ”I could help by watching books and stamping and stuff.” (Sigh.) His response?  ”Oh, ok.” (Double sigh.)

Getting spanked in Debbie Does Dallas the Musical

His biggest and final scene comes in Scene 20, “The Library.” Mr. Biddle catches Donna and her boyfriend Tim fooling around. Angry, he shouts, “You know the rules here. How could you so wantonly break them?” Afraid he will tell her parents, she allows him to spank her (see right). And then he asks her to spank him:  ”I always wanted to be bent over and spanked by a cheerleader ’cause I’m a bad and nasty boy.” Donna readily agrees, calling him “Bad Biddle.” This sets him back $105.

And with that, he also serves as a Naughty Librarian — the males of this type, unlike the female Naughty Librarians, are generally unattractive (check) and interested in deviant or unusual sexual acts (check).

So is the play successful? The scenes are extremely short, with repeated occurrences of inane dialogue. I lost count of how many times I read, “Oh, ok” and “Ok, bye.” The sex acts are hinted at or simulated or played with bananas (not kidding, see below). In truth, I rolled my eyes at the self-described tone of the play, as set out in the introductory notes:

The style of this piece is: rodeo-porno-football-circus. Every performer must be willing to go over the top and yet NOT BE CAMPY. The performances are meant to be big in size but never winking at the audience.

Debbie Does Dallas on the stage

Does Mr. Biddle’s character in the play mimic his reel counterpart? Apparently so, as according to Frank Vigorito’s review from the 2001 New York International Fringe Festival, “Debbie’s plot and script are word-for-word faithful to the original 1978 film.” And the scenes feel so short because of the removal of the sex scenes, so scenes “seemingly occur about every 30 seconds.” I agree with Vigorito’s final verdict:

Essentially, the play moves from one pointless scene of dialogue to the next, with the audience left waiting for something to look forward to, but that moment never arrives, unless you consider the final curtain.

The play is available from Dramatists Play Service, where you can also listen to music samples.

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The Quotable Librarian

Out of the mouths of reel librarians… Laugh, cry, sigh, enjoy!

The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie (1969)

This is a library. Not a fun fair!

~ Isla Cameron as Miss McKenzie (school librarian)

Love Story (1970)

You have your own library, preppy.

~ Ali MacGraw as Jenny Cavalleri (student library assistant)

Pump Up the Volume (1990)

Now you’re in trouble. You owe 25 cents.

~ Samantha Mathis as Nora Diniro (student library assistant)

The Mummy (1998)

Look, I may not be an explorer, or an adventurer, or a treasure seeker, or a gun fighter… But I am proud of what I am. I… am a librarian!
[then falls over drunk]

~ Rachel Weisz as Evelyn Carnahan (Egyptologist librarian)

The Philadelphia Story (1940)

What is thee wish?

~ Hilda Plowright as Quaker Librarian (public librarian)

Star Wars, Episode II: Attack of the Clones (2002)

If an item does not appear in our records, it does not exist!

~ Alethea McGrath as Jocasta Nu (archives librarian)

Party Girl (1995)

He’s not a dick, he’s a patron.

~ Sasha von Scherler as Judy Lindendorf (public librarian)

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Killer Movie, Scary librarian

It’s almost Halloween! I’ve been thinking about costumes, and if I were to dress up as a librarian, who would I pick? Who would YOU pick? One librarian I will NOT dress up as is the librarian in Killer Movie (2008).

Scary movie indeed

Yikes.

In this film, a reality TV shoot at a small town in North Dakota turns into a murder game for a crazed-yet-cunning killer. I caught this film on my cable’s on demand list, and the movie, which was shot in 21 days, was better than I was thinking it would be. Faint praise. I was thinking it was going to be like those Date Movie parodies, but the movie seemed like it wanted to play it straight. It has elements of black humor (“What greater truth is there than reality? Even when it’s scripted”), and it borrows heavily from the Scream movies, especially in the characters and basic plot points — and the Scream movies themselves gleefully borrowed from the (cheesy) tradition of modern horror films. But everyone in the film seems like they’re acting in a different movie from each other. Paul Wesley, as TV director Jake Tanner, plays his role totally straight and serious, like he does on The Vampire Diaries; Cyia Batten, who plays the TV show’s producer, is way over-the-top; and Kaley Cuoco as spoiled actress Blanca Champion wanders through like she’s doing her best Anna Faris-as-Britney. She fits in the movie as well as her miniskirts and shorts fit in with the freezing temps.

Mary Murphy plays the aforementioned Librarian — her official title in the credits — in a cameo about 24 minutes into the film. Before the library scene, Jake proclaims that “something’s off here,” helping to set up a feeling of unease and suspicion. His production assistant then shows him some newspaper articles on microfilm in the school library. In this one-minute-long scene, she finds the time to diss the school library and the town in one go:

“I’m dying to Google these people. I don’t know if you’ve tried yet, but it’s impossible to get on the internet up here. I’ve tried the dial-up like 30 times, only I get knocked off after 10 seconds.”

After discussing the newspaper articles about several deaths in the area and how they don’t think the most recent death was an accident, they look up from the microfilm reader because of the school librarian’s sudden appearance. There is a long pan to the librarian in the distance:

The librarian does not engage in conversation. She simply gives them a long glare and spits out her one line:

“You two have to leave. NOW.”

At her close-up, my husband and I both recoiled in horror. Score one for the friendly school librarian!

In this character introduction, she is a black, shadowy figure. She looks more like a nun — or a crow — in her long black layers, glasses hanging from a lanyard, black-streaked-with-grey hair pulled back. She is holding a couple of books in her arms, hands clutching her other arm. In the close-up, we see her hands and face only — her pale face with her sour, forbidding expression stands out. Her body is pretty shapeless in her long skirt, turtleneck, and cardigan.

We don’t get to see much of the school library. There is an aisle of dark blue carpet inbetween two rows of bookcases, plus a bookcase seen behind the librarian. The dark woods of the bookcases and walls add to the foreboding feel of the horror movie set-up. The books are not that neatly shelved, but not overly messy, either. We see no signs of any students using the library — and with a school librarian like that, who would?!

Photo of Mary Murphy, a ballroom dance champio...

Mary Murphpy in real life - Image via Wikipedia

There are quite a few cameos in the film, and this one has that touch of black humor when you compare this reel librarian’s image with Mary Murphy herself (right). In real life, she is a dancer and choreographer, lending her expertise as a judge on the popular (and addictive) reality TV show So You Think You Can Dance. She is quite dynamic and loud and sparkly on the show, a total opposite from this crow of a reel librarian. Her cameo in this film might also be a clever play on her “Queen of Scream” nickname — if you’ve ever watched the show, you know about her trademark holler!

So what’s the point of this library scene? I think it adds to the “lost in rural America” feel of the small town, as the main characters won’t be able to rely on technology to seek help. The librarian’s appearance and behavior definitely contribute to the creepy mood of the town and backlog of suspicious deaths. With the long camera pans in the scene, we also get the sense of someone (the killer?) watching others. This is a camera trick used throughout the film, as in a scene later on in a convenience store, where we get a long pan down the grocery aisles and see a flash of the killer walking by. This subtly mirrors the visual introduction of the librarian. The school librarian also serves as a possible suspect. As the victims piled up — and they do, believe me — I shouted out several times, “Is it the librarian? There’s almost no one left!” Is she the killer? Hmmm….

So as the main function of this librarian is to contribute to the atmosphere, she serves the primary role of an Information Provider. But the director still can’t help but to resort to the physical characteristics of the Spinster Librarian! So if a librarian is going to be onscreen for a short time, the trend is to go for the stereotypical image.

I’ve written a lot for such a small role. Quite a(n unfortunately) memorable impression for a reel librarian onscreen for 4 seconds!

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It’s an Adventure!

The trailer pretty much sums up Rome Adventure (1962):

Suzanne is a librarian who breaks with her stuffy New England background to live this… ‘Rome Adventure’!

Suzanne Pleshette plays Prudence Bell, an assistant librarian at the Briarcroft College for Women. The first scene sets the stage:  Prudence lands in trouble for letting a young girl read Lovers Must Learn, a book considered “too adult” for this school. The board has banned the book (this also serves as a clever advertisement for the real book, which the film was based on, and its author, Irving Fineman, who is name-dropped in the first five minutes) and reprimands Prudence in the process. Prudence, however, stands up to them and defies their rules. She delivers a speech about the importance of love — what’s hiding in every girl’s heart, that need to be loved — and quits the library to follow the book’s advice. She says, “This is Independence Day!” We are on her side for standing up to the board — and, in effect, standing up against censorship. [Plus, this week is the annual Banned Books Week, so this post is right on target!]

She is “going out to find love instead of waiting for it” (as apparently she has been doing as a librarian at a girls’ school?). Part of this scene is highlighted (albeit a little misleadingly) in the film’s trailer, below.

This was Suzanne Pleshette’s first leading role (although she gets 4th billing), and she was one of the loveliest actresses of her day. Her character is dressed in conservative but stylish suits, and her hairstyle and makeup are modern and fresh. Pleshette had a very direct kind of acting style — coupled with her trademark throaty voice — which works for this film, as it strengthens what might have otherwise been a very insipid role in lesser hands. Pleshette injects an intelligence and witty humor behind Prudence’s (forgive me!) slightly prudent demeanor.

Prudence is a prime example of the Liberated Librarian character type, a woman whose “liberation” often becomes the major plot. Liberated Librarians may even seem on the path to Spinster Librarians, but are spared from this oh-so-terrible fate (tongue firmly in cheek). This is the case for Rome Adventure, and Prudence even says early on: “I have absolutely no talent for being a spinster.”

So Prudence travels to Rome, to learn and to get a job — which the plot promptly serves up. Prudence begins work at The American Bookshop, befriending another American who fell in love with Italy (and Italian men).

This plot and setting is quite familiar, taking cues from the classic Roman Holiday (1953) and Three Coins in the Fountain (1954), both Best Picture nominees. The original title for both this film and the novel it’s based on was Lovers Must Learn, but they most likely changed the film’s name in an effort to capture a bit of borrowed glory from Roman Holiday. Even the packaging is similar (see right). We get to see lots of iconic Roman sights, coupled with pretty girls in pretty dresses falling in love and learning “the ways of the world” along the way. Nothing wrong with that!

Prudence rapidly falls in love, saying those three little words on her first date with Don Porter, played by then-heartthrob Troy Donahue. Onscreen romance led to love off-screen, as well — Suzanne Pleshette and Troy Donahue were married, albeit briefly (8 months), after this film was released. In the film, Prudence goes on a trip with Don — just the two of them — but is concerned about what her mother might think of her affair. “I can’t run away from my conscience!” But she valiantly battles with her rival in love, an ex-girlfriend in the shape of sexy Angie Dickinson. Romantic complications ensue, and she seeks lessons in love from the master, Rossano Brazzi (who is totally more swoon-worthy than Troy Donahue, in my opinion), who helps change her image to a sexier one. But this sexier image is one that Prudence — proving her namesake to the end — ultimately rejects, saying “I think first I better change back into me.”

Prudence’s liberation comes full circle. She decides to go back home because the cost to her freedom and self-respect is too much — and even if her choices at the end of the film may seem conventional, the point is that she did learn, but only by making her own choices.

After rewatching this film, I can’t help thinking, WHY is Prudence a librarian? Her initial profession is certainly highlighted in the trailer — which was a surprise to me! — but why wasn’t she a teacher or even a flower shop assistant? Was “librarian” a profession chosen at random? I haven’t found a copy of the book yet to see if she’s a librarian on the page as well as on screen (that is now added to my to-do list). That might be the easy answer, but again, why a librarian? I think a young woman in that profession lends an air of intelligence and, let’s be honest, respectability — which she might need as support once she goes traipsing on long weekends in Italy! And, harkening back to my more cynical point-of-view, being a librarian provides a more solid contrast to the idea of “liberation” — that without this chance of a “Rome Adventure” to broaden her horizons, she will have to face a future of spinsterhood (and overbearing would-be censors, a sad fate indeed). There just isn’t the same kind of contrast if she had simply been a salesclerk or a young lady with no profession. So when Prudence does explore her sexuality in the film, the audience might even be relieved for her, instead of condemning her more liberated escapades (perhaps a more serious issue in 1962, when the film was released?). Ahhh, the specter of the Spinster Librarian!

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