Category Archives: Comic Relief (female)

Waitress! Librarian! Action!

You know by the exclamation point in the title that this is a classy movie, right?! Oh, how I wish that were true. Actually, that’s not true. I did not enjoy this movie, not even for the camp factor of a raunchy comedy as only the ’80s could make ‘em. Waitress! (aka Soup to Nuts, 1981) is a film by Lloyd Kaufman and Michael Hertz of Troma Entertainment, the creators of those craptastic “Toxic Avenger” B-movie series. I remember reading a few years ago how “Toxie” keeps intoxicating Cannes (see what I did there?!). This movie even premiered at Cannes in 1981, with its American release over a year later, in September 1982 (hence the discrepancy in release dates).

My Facebook status documenting my personal reaction to this movie? “I feel violated.”

On that positive note ;) … The plot revolves around different young women working as waitresses, including one woman trying to make it as an actress and another trying to make it as a writer in New York City. Both work at the WORST restaurant ever, which was filmed after hours at an actual restaurant in Manhattan called Marty’s (the worst advertising I can think of, really, as the sign is clearly visible throughout the restaurant scenes). The “comedy” bits include sight gags, vaudeville schtick, slapstick comedy, anything to elicit a laugh… or a groan. There are also tons of cameos and bit parts, including Chris Noth (!) and Anthony John Denison, who plays Lt. Flynn on The Closer TV series.

Almost a half-hour into the film, Jennifer (Carol Bevar), the girl who wants to be a writer, goes to the library to follow the advice of a teen magazine article on how to find guys. The narration illuminates her mission:

Remember, the mature teen goes for a man with a mind not just a body. Do some browsing at the public library. That’s where you’ll find your cosmopolitan intellectual.

She immediately heads on over to the wall o’ card catalogs, and meets a boy with a finger up his nose. (NOT kidding, see below). There’s your typical “cosmopolitan intellectual” at the library, eh? Sigh.

Jennifer starts asking him questions, which irritates the guy — until the light bulb comes on — and he asks if she’s making a pass at him. “I can’t believe it! I’ve never had a lady come up to me before!” Of course, all of this highly excitable babbling occurs right underneath the sign atop the card catalog, with “QUIET” in huge black letters (see above). He’s so loud that the other patrons start shushing him and telling him to be quiet, and we see Jennifer booking it out of there (I am on fire with the puns today!). And you guessed it… here comes the librarian, played by Lola Ross.

Librarian:  Young man , you should be more quiet.

Dorky guy: I know, I’m just very happy. This young lady she just made a pass at me.

Librarian:  What young lady? [puts on huge glasses handing on a lanyard and pokes his shoulder with her pencil]

Dorky guy:  What do you mean what young lady? This young lady. Oh my god, I’ve lost her! Wait!

And turning in panic, the guy runs into a book cart (supplied by the librarian, no doubt), flips over it in spectacular gymnastic fashion, then runs straight into another patron. He scampers off as the librarian puts a hand to her chest. This is obviously the most excitement she’s seen in the library in a long time!

So Jennifer the wannabe writer was NOT successful in finding a cosmopolitan intellectual guy at the library. Sigh.

And Lola Ross, the actress playing the librarian — in stereotypically buttoned-up, lanyard-wearing fashion — looked so similar to the librarian in The Last American Virgin (1982) that I had to look both movies up again. Don’t they look similar at first glance, right down to the extreme winged collars?

 ‘The Last American Virgin’ librarian  ‘Waitress!’ librarian

As the librarian character is used to contrast with the younger woman and to set up the slapstick comedy in this scene, I would argue she best fulfills a combination of the Spinster Librarian and Comic Relief character types. She, her lanyard, and her pencil also join the other librarians in bit part roles over in the Class IV listing of films.

Below are the opening credits, which is pretty much all you EVER need to watch from Waitress! (1981):

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That touch of mistaken identity

In the comedy That Touch of Mink (1962), a rich business man (Cary Grant) and a young woman (Doris Day) begin a relationship — but she wants marriage while he wants only an affair. In one hilarious scene, Grant and his friend (Gig Young) break into a motel room in order to find Day, but they end up interrupting a romantic tryst between a librarian and a would-be lover.

The reel librarian appearance does not connect significantly to the plot; it is played strictly for laughs. And for such a short scene, it packs in as many punchlines as possible, joining the Class III category of reel librarian films.

When I first was taking notes for this film, back in my undergrad days, I initially thought that John Fiedler was playing the librarian; Fiedler was a character actor best known for Juror #2 in Twelve Angry Men and as the voice of Piglet. (He also hails from Platteville, Wisconsin, where I used to live and work!) Here’s a screenshot of my original notes — I’ve crossed out several phrases relating to Fielder’s character, including meek. I’m pretty sure I was thinking along the lines of the “Male Librarian as a Failure” type here.

And here’s a close-up of John Fiedler as meek Mr. Smith:

But that’s what I get for assuming.

The librarian is actually the woman (played by Barbara Collentine, in an uncredited role) who has checked into this motel with the mild-mannered Mr. Smith. And she turns out to be a Comic Relief type, but again, it’s because the audience is laughing more at her rather than with her.

Toward the end of the film, a little over an hour and a half in, Philip Shayne (Grant) charges into the motel manager’s office, asking for a couple who registered from New York, a “blonde about so high.” The bewildered hotel manager answers in the affirmative, a Mr. and Mrs. Smith who are in the bridal suite. So in this first scene of mistaken identity (and remember, he’s thinking the blonde in the room is Cathy, the character played by Doris Day), Philip interrupts Mr. Smith uncorking a bottle of champagne. Ah, symbolism.

Mr. Smith:  What right have you got barging in here?

Philip:  Every right. At least I had the decency to take her to a hotel, not a rabbit hutch.

Mr. Smith:  She went to a hotel? With you?

Philip:  I think her hobby is collecting hotel keys. [knocks on bedroom door] Are you coming out? [barges into the bedroom]

Immediately realizing his mistake, Philip comes right back out and congratulates Mr. Smith on having “a great little girl there.”

Mr. Smith looks dumbstruck. As does the reel librarian, who comes out, clutching her robe (see below).

Mrs. Smith:  Who was that man?

Mr. Smith:  You librarians live it up pretty good!

You librarians live it up pretty good!

That punchline is so good it made one of my “Quotable Librarian” posts!

But we’re not done yet… In Round 2, Philip’s sidekick Roger (Young) enters stage left, seeking the “blonde about so high.” But before he barges in on the not-so-happy-anymore couple, we get to see this reel librarian shushing Mr. Smith while perching on his lap, as seen below. (And sorry folks, that’s NOT how we do reference at the library. ;) )

Mr. Smith: But what was I to think when –

Mrs. Smith:  You do believe I never cared for another man until you walked in the library?

Mr. Smith:  Of course.

Mrs. Smith:  I won’t be long.

Another kind of shushing for this reel librarian

Blowing him a kiss, she retires to the bedroom.

But poor Mr. Smith doesn’t get much time to look mighty pleased with himself, because then Roger stumbles in, throwing out another insult during the second case of mistaken identity (“You’re even more repulsive than she said. No wonder she begged me to come here with her!”).

The phone rings, and Mr. Smith has had enough. Let’s listen in one last time:

Hello? Mother? You were right about women. Yes, Mama, I’ll wait outside. Come and get me.

So we’ll never know the possible happy future that could have been for this reel librarian and her mama’s-boy beau.

I find it interesting that they kept the bun — which looks quite elaborately pinned and braided, no? — even while she’s dressed down in a robe. I’m sure the glasses were the first thing to come off. ;)

Not your typical Last Supper

The Last Supper (1995) focuses on five liberal grad students, rooming together in a big Iowa farmhouse. Smugly proud of their forward-thinking ways, they nonetheless find themselves succumbing to murderous temptations when faced with extreme right-wing thinkers at their dinner table. Funny how those tomato plants in the backyard keep multiplying…

This little-known film pulls together threads of pitch-black comedy and morality puzzlers like in Hitchcock’s Rope. And for such a small-scale film, it boasts quite a number of star cameos, including Bill Paxton, Charles Durning, Mark Harmon, and Ron Perlman. Annabeth Gish was arguably the biggest “name” in the cast at the time the film was released, but it also stars Cameron Diaz and Courtney B. Vance in roles before they hit it big. Alas, the most interesting bits in the film are the opening (and ending) credits, which could illustrate an anthology of Flannery O’Connor‘s most disturbing short stories.

*SPOILER ALERT*

So how does the reel librarian, played by South African actress and award-winning playwright Pamela Gien, end up in this Class III film? Dead, of course, with a knife in her back. Thaaaaat’s gotta hurt.

But let me back up a bit. How does she end up dead? A little over 50 minutes into the film, this (gotta be) single white female finds herself at the head of the table. Although obviously quite young, her conservative dress; minimal, if any, makeup; and nondescript hairstyle age her considerably. Strike one.

Who, me? The 'Illiterate Librarian' in The Last Supper

This meek librarian’s mannerisms also convey her inner Puritan; she puts her hand across her chest and also uses it covers her mouth, almost as if to block any direct, or indirect, contact. Strike two.

And then she opens her mouth, speaking in a high-pitched, nervous voice:

Catcher in the Rye is supposed to be art? Thumbelina is art. Catcher in the Rye is just mean-spirited garbage littered with the “F” word.

Strike three!

They all laugh, and Luke (Courtney B. Vance) proclaims, “I’ve heard enough. How about a toast?” (FYI, they’d been killing people with poisoned wine.)

Interrupted by the doorbell, three of the wannabe philosophers leave the room. They come back to find the reel librarian draped over a chair, stabbed in the back. Why? Because she didn’t drink wine. (Of course! Strike four!)

That's gotta hurt

Although we actually do learn her name throughout the scene, Barbara Mensa, this Comic Relief librarian gets credited as “The Illiterate Librarian.” And she continues to inspire controversy after her demise.

Marc (Jonathan Penner): ”But look at her. She was just an illiterate. I mean, we’re getting out of hand.”

Paulie (Annabeth Gish): “They’re not people. They’re people who hate.”

Jude (Cameron Diaz):  ”What are you talking about? She just had bad taste.”

So there you have it. Fellow librarians, dissing Catcher in the Rye in public can lead to very bad things. I’ll be keeping my own opinions on that controversial classic to myself. ;)

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Comic Relief librarians

Aaaaahhh, the Comic Relief librarians. I’m combining both male and female versions of the Comic Relief librarians because they serve the same function and role, no matter the gender. In my undergraduate thesis, “A Glimpse Through the Glasses: Portrayals of Librarians in Film” (read more about that here), I had included both the Comic Relief and Information Provider types into one type. My reasoning at the time?

I fit both of them into one category because the librarians are there only to provide necessary points of plot or supply scenes for comedic effect that highlight basic stereotypes — and sometimes, the librarians supply both plot and humor.

If you’ve been following this series of posts (see here, here, here, here, here, and here), you know my penchant for awkward titles. The original moniker behind the merger was “The Librarian who Provides Information or Humor.” And THUD. Yikes, that was such a clunker. I remember wanting to do something akin to “Good Humor Man” but never got anywhere on that track.

The librarian in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade

Anyways, now it’s the Comic Relief librarian. So much better-sounding, no? The films that provide glimpses of librarians for comedic purposes only also are the films that depict the crudest portrayals overall of librarian stereotypes, save for perhaps the Spinster Librarian and her male counterpart, the Anti-Social Librarian. Why? Because they are more caricatures than characters. They are the most extreme physically — ranging from rail-thin (Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, 1989, see above) to buff beyond belief (UHF, 1989).

The Comic Relief librarians mostly wind up in comedies — shocker, I know — or at least in films that include comedic undertones or situations. Their purpose is the most obvious of all reel librarian roles, but the librarians of this type do not necessarily entertain themselves or other characters in the film — rather, they entertain the audience. Exclusively minor characters, the Comic Relief librarians serve as the target of jokes, and the audience is encouraged to laugh at them.

Shall we?

Ladies First

The female of the Comic Relief species include Hilda Plowright‘s Quaker librarian in The Philadelphia Story (1940). Jimmy Stewart pokes (gentle) fun by mocking her thee‘s and thou‘s (included in the “Funny Library Montage” below).

The tiny bit part of the blonde librarian in That Touch of Mink (1962) highlights the film’s comedy in the case of mistaken identity, and Alice Drummond in Ghostbusters (1984) survives the fright of her life and mumbles incoherently while lying on a library desk.

Marian Seldes in The Gun in Betty Lou’s Handbag (1992) plays head librarian Margaret Armstrong, and when the title character suggests food at a library fundraiser, a look of absolute horror crosses her face as she gasps, “Books near finger foods?”

And I’m sure that reel librarian could relate to Elvia Allman’s character in Breakfast at Tiffany’s (1961), who freaks out at Paul Varjak (George Peppard) “defacing public property” by autographing his book.

In Chances Are (1989), Yale University library assistant Alex (Robert Downey, Jr.) stops a middle-aged librarian from yelling at a student by telling her that some students are “fooling around with the [Shakespeare] folios.” This prompts the hapless librarian to scurry away in a panic to save the precious books.

The Guys

Another film from 1989, UHF, contains a sketch in the form of a commercial for the show “Conan the Librarian.” Read all about that hilarity here in this post.

And in yet another film from 1989, Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade provides a scene in which Indiana (Harrison Ford) breaks a marble floor tile, and the film cuts to an old male librarian stamping books each time Indiana breaks the tile (see above). Marveling at his unknown strength (!),  the male librarian does not realize that something other than his stamp could be making noise in the library.

Redefining the fop… Mr. Collins in the 1940 version of ‘Pride and Prejudice’

The 1940 version of Pride and Prejudice changes the already humorous character of Mr. Collins from a clergyman to the personal librarian to Lady Catherine de Burgh. Melville Cooper, as Mr. Collins, plays a perfectly ridiculous man (see above), one who bounces on his toes and manages to unintentionally offend everyone he intends to flatter.

And in another supporting role, James Millhollin draws in some laughs as the Ship’s Librarian in Bon Voyage! (1962). He also manages to unintentionally offend in his overly solicitous, uptight, and oily hair kind of way. You can read all about it in this post.

So a fond farewell now to our Comic Relief librarians – who take a lickin’ and keep on tickin’ — and up next week, our trusty Information Providers.

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A tale of seven shushes

City Slickers II: The Legend of Curly’s Gold (1994) includes a brief scene filmed in the beautiful Doheny Library Reference Room, University of Southern California. This library has starred in several films. Opened in 1932, the library has an elegant yet cozy feeling, with tall windows, light woods, tile floors, and stunning light fixtures.

Doheny Library Reference Room, USC

That’s the good stuff.

Now for the rest…

In this vastly inferior sequel, the main plot is pretty obvious by the film’s subtitle. Subtlety is not its strong suit, as we will also see in the library scene.

The MacGuffin? Mitch (Billy Crystal) has discovered a treasure map in Curly’s hat. His excitable friend Phil (Daniel Stern) has been researching the Western Pacific Railroad because he suspects the money traces back to a train robbery. A trip to the library — a logical next step, no? — basically serves to legitimize the plot, such as it is.

Unidentified male reel librarian

The library scene takes place a little over 30 minutes into the film. The camera pans down from the gorgeously ornate library ceiling to a closer shot of Billy Crystal rifling through bound newspaper volumes. Blink, and you might miss a male reel librarian cruise by. Although unidentified in the film’s credits, how do you know he’a reel librarian? Because he’s pushing a shelving cart, of course! This unidentified African-American male is quite young (maybe in his 30′s), dressed in typically conservative outfit of grey slacks and a red button-down shirt.

I counted 7 shushes in this 3 1/2 minute scene — or a one-shush average per 30 seconds. Let’s count ‘em down:

Phil is looking up old newspaper clippings on a microfiche machine, his eyes wide. He shouts out “I got it!” as he reads an article from the Carson City News.

He and Mitch talk loudly, and Phil excitedly shouts out again: “This is fate!”

SHUSH ONE:  Brought to us by an older man — billed in the credits as Annoyed Man in Library. There’s no indication that he’s a librarian, only that he’s following library rules. Phil shoots back an “Up yours” to Annoyed Man.

They get excited again (of course).

Annoyed Man in Library

SHUSH TWO: Again, by the Annoyed Man in Library. This time, Mitch whispers back, “Sorry, sorry.”

The Annoyed Man throws some more exasperated looks their way. Finally, he stands up, slams his book closed, and walks away.

SHUSHES THREE and FOUR come from other library users.

Mitch pushes Phil across the aisle and into the stacks — still arguing loudly.

SHUSH FIVE:  Time to bring out the big guns! This time, a white, middle-aged female librarian gives them the shush, contributing her bit to Comic Relief. The reel librarian (Helen Sigh) whizzes by, pushing a shelving cart (of course). She wears conservative jewelry (gold button earrings and brooch) and clothing (a long-sleeved and high-necked green blouse), with glasses hanging off a lanyard. Note:  She’s billed as Shushing Lady. Subtle.

Shushing Lady

Still more arguing. As Mitch turns away, Phil cries out after him, earning SHUSHES SIX and SEVEN from Mitch himself. Phil’s reaction? “Don’t shush me!”

A few seconds later, after spying a picture of the train robber who looks just like the deceased Curly, Mitch then lets rip a shush-curdling scream. The film cuts away immediately, so we can only imagine the reaction in the library!

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